Monday, March 22

The intersection of weirdness and desire.

So, conversations continue to go on inside my head, like...why hasn't Technion written back to me, yet? What will I do if I can't find a tech school in Israel? How will that, ultimately, solve the problem of being pretty bored at work as a teacher? Even better, how can I stop thinking about this and do something about it?

I'm looking at other options, and looking into living in a number of different places. But unless you have something very specific in mind, you end up with a ton of possible options (you end up looking at craigslist and fall asleep scrolling down the page), any one of which it's exhausting to pursue. I pursued Technion because it's the number one tech school in Israel, and they have an education/tech hybrid program that seems really good for me. But I dunno.

I might get my first credit card soon...took me 26 years! I reckon that I have avoided them until now because they seemed silly, and I feel like the game people play with credit and getting loans...and buying things with credit cards just to show they have good a petty game that is a waste of calories. But here I am, about to play into it. I guess, in the end, it gives you more power for a little bit of your time and attention. Most things do that...and you can continue to empower yourself to the point where all your resources come to bear on a very small portion of your day (because you're trying to gain power for the rest of the day by working or whatever). It can be frustrating. Right now I'm really feeling the squeeze of a lot of resources, and not that much time. And when I get an exorbitant amount of time, I don't ever know what to do with it.

Hey! I'm working on a new poetry series...written from letters my grandfather received and saved before he passed away. Here's one to check out:

July 13, 1944

There were times when
hard labor was everything.
If you were studying chemistry,
you had to work hard
like your parents
at the store. You rang up the molecules
you gave back change,
the correct change, God Damnit,
and you wrote letters home about it
long letters that took a long time
to write, and which sometimes didn't get there.
And people wrote you back,
asking how is your Aunt, we know you've been writing her
and we can save postage by just asking you!

Chinese Character of the Friggin' Day:

(Dan(4th tone) Gao(1st tone))

Actually, it doesn't literally mean what I think it literally means. Literally, I see Dan (egg) and gao (tall) and that's exactly what this thing is--it's tall egg, in a matter of speaking. But that's not exactly what those words mean. I'll give you one hint...It's also the name of a band that likes long jackets. You guessed it! CAKE. Woo!

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